Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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