I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
