The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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