You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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