I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
