Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize