Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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