garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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