"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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