I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
How's work?
Spinning.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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