We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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