We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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