No awkward lesbian experiences without me
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize