I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There's always time for handjobs
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
