i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
