OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
