I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
