All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
