D3 body, D1 cock
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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