you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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