he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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