We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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