If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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