Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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