I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
