id be glad to
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
