I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
