Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
