Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
thus making me awesome and them whores
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
