Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
