That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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