why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
