no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
