I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
