I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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