you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize