Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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