so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The air taste purple.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize