farters have to be the big spoon...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
