Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
