that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
