I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
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One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
