living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
