i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
