Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The adults are the big ones right?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
