I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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