Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
