hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
