chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
