How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
