do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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