If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize