i just wanna soil my oats bro
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
