By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
