Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
