If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
