can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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