BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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