I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Im part way to drunk.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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