This is not my ceiling
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
false alarm, still single
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
