he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
