I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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