uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
