I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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