I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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