I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
