yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
