We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Vodka?
Forever.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
